Dynamics of friendships

Female friendships can be complex, the older you get you realise the very things you promised each other as kids making those friendship pacts become very hard to keep no matter how hard we hold on to them. Life has a way of shaping itself out in a manner that one could have never anticipated and sometimes best friends get replaced by husbands and kids (that’s a tough one to swallow) but maybe new pacts or agreements should then be made so that you can love and be there for each other exactly where you are in life.

What hurts in friendships is wanting to hold on to what was instead of embracing what is in the present the new chapters that as girlfriends go through.l will never forget a line Christina said to Meredith (by now you should have figured out m greys fan to point l think m qualified surgeon) she said your life looks different because it has husband and kids and costumes just because mine looks the same on the outside does not mean l have not evolved. That really resonated with me, a mistake many of us including myself have made is thinking if l don’t see physical change then you must still be the same girl l met in primary school.

As life is ever evolving and new trends are coming in so are we, change is after all invevitable.So what then, do we call it quits and make new friends? Well maybe not change all of them.Aparantly in life they are three types of friends roots, leaves and branches and from reading that you already know day ones ride or die are roots ,the leaves are seasonal friends while branches may stay for little while but when the going gets really rough they leave. So the question still remains? How do we as ladies improve our friendships (men do not seem to have this problem?)

  l came across a video that spoke about friendship love language that may help not get mad at each other because Mary did not show up for my graduation.

So friendship language may go a little like this, there is that friend that loves to spend time with you but may not want to say anything but just enjoy QUALITY time in silence watching you clean (my sister will come to my room sit on the bed be on her phone sometimes) while some other friends s QUALITY time is a venting session (about husbands co-workers, kids you name it). Some show their love through ACTS OF SERVICE they will literary have you feeling like you handicapped wanting to do everything for you cooking, or simply catering to your needs while another will maybe pay someone else to get things done.

We all love to receive GIFTS, there is that one friend who may not talk to you regularly but once in 6months when you meet she brings you gifts (have not met that friends girls do better).Yes wena Susan do not just be a gift receiver give gifts too. Then you have that friend that loves hugs, touching you when they laugh that’s how they express their love to you through TOUCH. I have this one friend who is quick to remind of my own personal goals when l deviate, or just show appreciation when l have done something for her that WORDS OF AFFIRMATION.

All these languages are there in everyone though some express them more than others. As much as , we have busy lives do not take it personally try and pay attention to their love language when they are with you it will surely go a long way in you also being a better friend but mostly ladies lets be kind to one another.