Marriage, Age & Society

So from reading the title you probably thinking l have heard it all, watched it all as a movie somewhere but non of those stories are my story.

So l am 32,yes l said it and l am not ashamed and l refuse for anyone to make me feel less than because their own insecurities because a lot of times that's what it is.l would probably say l am living my own version of my best life, Which is messy at times crying is involved but for the most part finding joy and gratitude in the smallest of things.

Just last week one of my customers sneakily(wonder if that is a word. But just roll with me here)asked me the Are you married yet question,l say yet because he has asked me that question before. Now there are 2 reactions in my world...

to scream my personal life is non of your F$$$ business. But he would have been outraged and l would have had duty to console him for making me feel less than because l am not married. That whole process is exhausting..(this is savage cee)

or Smile be polite and say it's all in god timing and hope it shuts them up and you move on to the next thing.(this is Zen sensible cee)

In this particular situation l chose the later and to my surprise he did not shut up. You are probably outraged. Instead he said we expect a girl to get married at 25 once she gets to her 30s she is waiting for divorcee, widower or some left over scarps from other women now he is probably not wrong those are the statistics out there, so we will give him that point. At this point savage Cee was fighting so hard to say her point but looks like Zen Cee won that day.

So my response was sir you are the reason young girls are rushing to get married particularly in the Christian community and society at large because they are scared of being shamed into thinking something is wrong with them or that their mothers do not pray enough. Marriage is not a goal or an achievement that you use against us to make us feel we have failed in society or make us feel like we have arrived in life. We have many unhappy cheating people in some of these marriages because of such ideologies. And some of these men have developed attitudes of thinking they doing us a favour by marrying us.

I could have gone on but he got the message loud and clear am just not sure if he will not ask me again. Did l mention he did challenge my faith, like l do not pray enough. The audacity my relationship with God is goood l had to put an extra o just for emphasis. What he said got me reflecting on my own life. I was never the girl with many boys lining up neither have l had marriage proposals at 21 so the audacity of people to make it seem like its my fault l am not married.(can y'all show me these men l rejected)

They tell us to stay out of women's wombs because we do not know their journeys and stories so please stop asking us when we are getting married because you have no idea what we go through internally because of society standards. You mean well yes but sometimes its just condescending.

Do l want to get married oh Hell yes..l want marriage God intended for man kind from the beginning.In the meantime l am living my best fulfilled life as your rich aunty who will soon be rich wife(again do not ask when is soon savage cee might just come out.)